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Things you have stuck up your ass?

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  • Things you have stuck up your ass?

    First off, I want to say I am not gay. I am posting this in this forum because I posted a story I had about an (almost) homosexual experience I had when I was younger. Of course, there, I got a lot of macho "HELL TO THE FUCKING NO" bullshit I would expect from some people. I am totally secure in my sexuality and am open to discussion on just about anything. Some so called "straight" guys just can't deal with any kind of discussion on the subject. I do not have a problem with anyone's sexuality. But I thought this subject might get more positive response here.

    I have had an anal fetish since I was about 6 years old. I love women's buttholes...In my masturbation sessions, for as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed something up my ass. I have never let anyone do it to me in real life..I don't know why, I guess it's just a hang up I have. I know it's stupid.

    Anyway, to the subject. Once when I was about 11 years old I heard a guy making a joke about another guy, saying he was sliding up and down on his bedpost...I was intrigued..."You mean you can actually stick stuff up your butt?"..I began experimenting.. I think the first item I stuck up there was a wash rag. I remember coating the thing in Mom's hand lotion and slowly working it into my butt. When I slowly pulled it out--IT FELT GREAT!! Especially while stroking my dick and balls...From that point on I was on a mission!! I began to search out phallic symbols in everything. If it was long, round, and had a pointy or round end on it, you can better believe, next time I jacked off, it was going up my butt. I lived in a very small town, and this was way before online shopping. So if you were looking for anal toys you pretty much had to make them.

    I remember one of my first "butt friends". My Mom had this big bowl of fake wooden fruit. And yep, there was a wooden banana. That puppy and me became good friends. The only problem was the bowl was right on our living room coffee table so I couldn't keep the thing under my bed. So I couldn't use it while my parent's were home or they would see that it was missing. Surprisingly, just yesterday I was at my parent's house and that bowl of fake fruit is still there, 30 some odd years later. If only they knew how many times that piece of wooden fruit had been up my butt in my younger days!!LOL

    Over time, as I skipped school, to stay home and jack off, I tried just about everything imaginable. My first homemade dildo was a piece of 1 and a half inch PVC pipe. I took one of those old "super bouncer" balls (the old kind that was clear and had all these swirly looking lines in it). I put the ball on the end of the pipe and wrapped the whole thing in this grey electrician's tape I found. It worked pretty good but that boy was kinda big. At first it would really hurt going in, but as I relaxed and worked it in it would feel great. I fucked the living hell out of my ass with that thang.

    The list grew a lot over time--

    -Broom handles
    -Carrots and cucumbers
    -You absolutely CANNOT get a tomato (even a miniature one) up your butthole.. It just bursts.
    -Real bananas
    -Hairbrush handles
    -Ping pong balls
    -Eggs (only tried this ONCE--stuck two of them up there, one broke in my ass!! I like to have died trying to get that sucker out of me). DO NOT TRY THIS!!!
    -I eyeballed a light bulb once, but after my experience with the eggs I quickly decided not to...
    -I had a miniature pool table once--got eight of them little balls up me one time!!
    -My dad had a hammer that had this cool rubber grip on it that had these little rubber bumps on it...It felt great but damn, that sumbitch was heavy!!
    -R2-D2 toys do NOT work well!! LOL
    -Once I found this wierd automotive flashlight that was long, thin, and ribbed and had this ball-like back end on it. That was a good one!!
    -My Mom had this old back massager. It wasn't dick shaped, just a big handle with a flat, round metal plate on the end of it. But I found that if I let it rest against whatever was up my butt, the vibrations sent me into a tizzy.
    -Got my first real vibrator at about age 16. I was in another town at a Spencer's Gifts store. I hung out there for about two hours getting up the nerve to buy it. And, of course, blabbered some bullshit story to the cashier about how it was for a girlfriend. I'm sure he was like "yeah right"....
    -Various other "God knows what" items over the years I can't remember at this time.
    -I had never even HEARD of anal beads until I was about 23. Saw two girls using them in a porno. I thought "I bet I could make some of those". I went to a Hobby Lobby and bought every kind of little ball and bead I could find. Rubber balls weren't too good--they would split when trying to drill a hole through them. But I did find some little wooden balls that were really smooth. Drilled some holes in them and, with a piece of string cut off of a window shade, made a pretty good set of anal beads. You just had to lube them up pretty good.

    What about any of you guys? Any other imaginative folks out there?
    Last edited by SLECTOR; 11-25-2011, 03:47 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

    I enjoy playing with my ass a little bit. Normally I just rub my perineum area, but sometimes I finger my ass while I masturbate. So far, that's all I've used, but I'm interested in getting something like an Aneros, maybe even a small vibrator, and using that. I'll probably use it in a vid at some point.


    • #3
      Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

      I'm tame on that front, just my fingers, and being gay I've had a boyfriend finger me and also fuck me. But that's it.


      • #4
        Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

        Spa-god, that was the funniest damned shit I've read here in a long, long time. Laughin' so hard my sides hurt...

        You write very well. Your degree in English or something that has you doing a lot of writing that's read by others? It's a pleasure to read good writing. svin is also a good writer. I like to read his stuff...
        Last edited by analsexfreak; 11-27-2011, 12:14 AM.


        • #5
          Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

          for me just :
          - a banana
          - anal plug
          - god


          • #6
            Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

            I have a butt plug up my ass almost every day, love the feeling when you can't hold one of the large ones in any longer and pulling it out, bliss.


            • #7
              Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

              Dildos/ vibrators (lots of these over the years)
              Butt plugs
              Anal beads
              Hair brush handle
              Fingers (mine and my wife's)
              My own cock (a few times)
              Squash, cucumbers, zucchini
              Knob from a 4 post bed


              • #8
                Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                Here are 2 dildo vids:




                • #9
                  Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                  Raw okra ain't no good...I'm just sayin...


                  • #10
                    Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                    I'm not gay, either, but have always enjoyed putting things in my ass. I've had some girlfriends who were into it too, which was fun. I've used a number of dildos/vibrators and have a nice plug. Other objects include screwdrivers, carrots, swizzle sticks and kitchen utensils. I'm hoping for a future GF that has a strap-on.


                    • #11
                      Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                      I've had a few thing up my butt like the Aneros Helix and the Rude Boy but I haven't been able to get off on them yet


                      • #12
                        Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                        just the usual. fingers, a cock, a vibrator. and a bingo dauber.


                        • #13
                          Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                          A broom handle? Really? I don't like splinters in my hand, let alone my ass. Good grief.

                          For me, just toys and boys.


                          • #14
                            Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                            As I've gotten older I have found that my butt can't take the big ol' dildos as much as used to...I go now more for the vibrating little balls...I like the buzz of it, now, more than the ass pounding I used to give myself!! I used to be able to fuck myself in the ass a lot harder than I like nowadays..And for hours on end!!...I love something in my ass while jacking off.

                            Ya ever stick something so far up your ass it feels like it's actually going into your own dick? It will make you hard as hell!!!


                            • #15
                              Re: Things you have stuck up your ass?

                              Yes and he came inside me shorty after I blew my load. That was hot!