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Thread: The Closet

  1. #1
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    Default The Closet

    Hey guys, as you may or may not know I am bisexual. I have been open about it here but the truth is that I haven't told anyone I know personaly. I was just curious how long you guys were in the closet, if you still are and who you told first? Thanks.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Quote Originally Posted by Average Joe19 View Post
    Hey guys, as you may or may not know I am bisexual. I have been open about it here but the truth is that I haven't told anyone I know personaly. I was just curious how long you guys were in the closet, if you still are and who you told first? Thanks.
    Welcome to the life outside of the closet! I came out when i was 16 and first came out to my mom. She then told me to tell my dad and i can honestly say i was scared shitless, then once he mentioned my gay brother i was quite relieved because i knew i always had someone i could talk to and someone who knew my family.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    I was actually outted when I was in high school by a girl I'd tried to date, but broke up with after four days (and on Valentine's Day of all times). We continued to talk after the the breakup, and were supposedly "friends" still, so I confided in her about a guy I was seeing at the time who was 19 (I was 15 at the time). I can't say I blame her for being resentful due to my lack of tact in dumping her on V-Day, but she incited a fair amount of havoc on the home front at first. In a long run, however, her efforts at sabotage actually served to benefit me by eliminating my apprehension and worries that others finding out. After that point, I simply stopped caring who knew. (Besides, by the time she was through running her mouth to any and all who would listen, there weren't many left in my school who didn't know, lol).

  4. #4
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    Default Re: The Closet

    I came out at 17, my dad threw a chair at me and had to move out. everythings fine now, but hardest thing Ive ever had to do. seriously

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Unfortunaletly, I'm still in the closet. Well, the only person who knows, is my brother. He's two years younger than me. I haven't came out to him per se, he found out because he saw the gay porn in the history file that I forgot to delete. I was 17 years old at the time, so yeah, I was a little retarted. Anyway, my other two siblings don't know, only him. He supports me in every way and that is all I need from him. And I'm glad he knows. But I'm literally thinking of coming out in the near future because 25 years of being in the closet is such a long time. I just don't know how to approach each of my family members and break out the news to them.
    Last edited by earthchild12; 02-08-2011 at 10:46 PM.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The Closet

    I am also bisexual. Currently though, only my best friends know. They have been really well about keeping it to themselves. I currently have a girlfriend but sometimes I go into these "boy-modes", when all I want is to be with a guy. I've fought the urges though and have been faithful to her. We are currently at 1yr 5months together. I am still in the closet because its only several people that know but I would definitely feel more comfortable if I wasn't. It's a hard deal. I'm glad its becoming a more accepting matter now.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: The Closet

    I told three friends at the end of high school, I outed myself after graduation to every friend via facebook and lost a couple over it...oh well...fuck em'. Just came out to my parents a couple weeks ago. It was your typical story. "Are you sure? Have you tried being with a woman etc..." but they seem to be ok with it now. I came out cause I was with a guy who made me happier than I had been in a long time and then almost immediately after I came out he left me. Not that i'm bitter or anything ::totally still bitter::

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Quote Originally Posted by earthchild12 View Post
    Unfortunaletly, I'm still in the closet. Well, the only person who knows, is my brother. He's two years younger than me. I haven't came out to him per se, he found out because he saw the gay porn in the history file that I forgot to delete. I was 17 years old at the time, so yeah, I was a little retarted. Anyway, my other two siblings don't know, only him. He supports me in every way and that is all I need from him. And I'm glad he knows. But I'm literally thinking of coming out in the near future because 25 years of being in the closet is such a long time. I just don't know how to approach each of my family members and break out the news to them.
    i cant imagine the suffering you are feeling being in the closet. i have been out for my entire adult life. i feel a wall put up if i don't let people know. i hate having to explain that i wnet on a vacation with a "friend." or that i live with a "roommate."
    hell even my co-workers know. i have to be who i am. when i told my family that i was gay (this was in the early 90's) their response was "we know" i was really lucky i was accepted and loved for who i was/am.

  9. #9

    Default Re: The Closet

    I came out when i was 20 on January 1st 2012 I just decided it was time to do it and i felt ready to answer any questions they had for me.
    i typed up a letter to my parents which i gave to them on New Years exactly at 12. it was so long but i guess since i had wrote it for a long time it had everything i just wanted to let them know. Now they know, and a few of my friends but now if someone wants to know i just tell them cause seriously life is too short to hide who you really are.

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Closet

    I am still not out to my family or friends except for my mother and obviously my male sexual partners. I wouldn't try to hide it if it came out, but I am not going to make sure everyone knows either; it's no one else's business.


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  11. #11
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    Default Re: The Closet

    Sometimes I still pretend to be straight with new people. I get treated differently after I tell people i'm gay. Either in a positive or negative way. Sometimes it's all anyone wants to talk about. Sometimes they don't want to talk to me at all.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    If I may ask why do you wish to tell people that you are bisexual? I am a straight man so that question would obviously not apply to me but I am trying to explain this to myself.

    If you were gay then I could see point of coming out but if you are bi-curious then err... only person who needs to know is person in the bedroom... unless you have plans to marry and or permanently co-habitate with a male down the road how will coming out to anyone benefit your specific case?

  13. #13
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    Default Re: The Closet

    Quote Originally Posted by Average Joe19 View Post
    Hey guys, as you may or may not know I am bisexual. I have been open about it here but the truth is that I haven't told anyone I know personaly. I was just curious how long you guys were in the closet, if you still are and who you told first? Thanks.
    I'm bi too. On the internet things are different.

    In my mind, being straigth, gay or bi is equally normal. 100%. If you would ask someone what their favorite color is and they tell you it's green, well that's as normal I see the various sexual orientations.

    It's only our society who created the difference.

    That said, if someone asks me what I am, and it's none of their business, I tell them it's none of their business or too personal.

    Many people will assume bi or gay based on that, which is strange to me.

    To me, all the normal sexual orientations are 100% equally normal. If I were straight and someone who has no business in my personal life asked me about my orientation, I would tell them it's personal and none of their business.

    It's weird how sociaty turned anything other than straight into something other than the norm. In the past it would even be applied to your skin color. If you were black in certain parts of the world, you were an outcast.

    Sounds ridiculous, right? Same thing ppl are doing now with sexuality. And it is just as ridiculous.

    So to answer your question, am I still in the closet? Even that term implies something being different about you... No I'm not "in the closet". Yet nobody except few ppl like on here knows. Just because they never asked....

    It's all as normal as the color of your hair and I despise the culture we live in that makes it something other than as normal as being straight.

    If you don't wanna tell, don't. If you do, tell. But remember this simple fact:

    Anyone who rejects you for what you are, including your sexuality, isn't worh your time.

    It is their problem. I would walk away from my parents if they had a problem with it. They just never asked.

    I hope this helps a bit.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    I actually told my mom when I was 19. She told my father even though I told her not to. The first month around my father was very awkward. She was okay with it but did say "1 out of 5 isn't bad".

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Quote Originally Posted by steve-000 View Post
    I actually told my mom when I was 19. She told my father even though I told her not to. The first month around my father was very awkward. She was okay with it but did say "1 out of 5 isn't bad".
    That's awful! My mom cried and now we just never talk about it but she keeps her vitriolic comments to herself. I'm almost indignant on your behalf. That's just one of those thoughts you keep on the inside and then feel bad for thinking.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    That is the only thing during my convo with her that stands out 18 years later. She is perfectly okay with it now after trying to convince me that I will someday find a women to marry and bear her grandchildren-lol My father is dead now, but he accepted it, but dide not like it. He was weird around me at times, but never said anything hurtful to me or even mentioned it. With me and him, it was "don't ask, don't tell" even though we both knew what the other thought. It was weird.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    I think it is always easier to live out of the closet, even tho it is hard to open it I'm out to everyone who "needs to" or "should" know... you know, those close to you who love you... if they don't still love you, that is awfully revealing then.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    meant for comment by steve-ooo in this thread;

    I can really relate to your life accounts.
    steve

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Straight, but big congrats to those of you coming out or who are out, and to those still in, com out when you are ready. Don't rush it, and don't put yourself in danger.

    And double congrats to coming out as bi. Bisexuality is a hard place to be, a lot of people both gay/lesbian and straight will immediately not trust you. Either way, you end up defined by your current or last partner. Same sex, you are gay, opposite sex, you are straight. Its called bi-erasure. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure

    I have several LGBT people in my life, so supporting the community is very important to me. My family is pretty screwed up, and has some pretty deep seated bigotry, so when one of my cousins came out and married her girlfriend, one of my favorite people in my family disowned her. I've been trying to talk sense into him, but it has gotten to a point that I'm ready to let him know that he can quit acting like his dad, who tore the family apart by disowning everybody at least once, or he can disown me too. I'd rather be around people who love than people who justify their hate with a handful of verses from the bible.

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    Default Re: The Closet

    Quote Originally Posted by gomer View Post
    Straight, but big congrats to those of you coming out or who are out, and to those still in, com out when you are ready. Don't rush it, and don't put yourself in danger.

    And double congrats to coming out as bi. Bisexuality is a hard place to be, a lot of people both gay/lesbian and straight will immediately not trust you. Either way, you end up defined by your current or last partner. Same sex, you are gay, opposite sex, you are straight. Its called bi-erasure. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure

    I have several LGBT people in my life, so supporting the community is very important to me. My family is pretty screwed up, and has some pretty deep seated bigotry, so when one of my cousins came out and married her girlfriend, one of my favorite people in my family disowned her. I've been trying to talk sense into him, but it has gotten to a point that I'm ready to let him know that he can quit acting like his dad, who tore the family apart by disowning everybody at least once, or he can disown me too.[ I'd rather be around people who love than people who justify their hate with a handful of verses from the bible.
    ]
    Amen to that1

 

 

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