Welcome to the Fleshlight Forums.
Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    7

    Default Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Hey guys,

    I'm not a FL owner (potentially am one), but I'm curious about two things.

    #1 how was your experience in suggesting the purchase of a flesh light to your girl? Hesitant, annoyed, threatened, etc? Or did you find the reverse is true? I'm married 7 years now and we have good sex, so I don't want her thinking I'm unhappy with her (she's quite hot- but I'm frequently more horny than she's in the mood for). Anyone feel the same, and / or how did you talk about it?

    #2 I'm worried that buying and using a flesh light will diminish real sex with my wife, in the sense that the flesh light will probably be tighter around my cock than my wifes pussy is. I love fucking her but I could see how the FL would potentially be tighter and therefore make the real thing somehow less grand. I'd be mortified if I got a flesh light and realized it makes my real experiences inferior, even if just subtly.

    #3 And for a more abstract question... Psychologically speaking, what effect does the purchase of a FL have on a marriage in the long run? Dynamics, etc? I don't want to look too hard for the faults in something like this because I can see the potential for lots of enjoyment on my part, but seeing as how sexual relationships are often fragile in the sense that small things make a big difference in female "mood"... I wonder how this would play a part for good or ill.

    I know this is a community of mostly FL owners, so I'm especially curious to hear your thoughts. Many thanks!

  2. #2
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Some cause for concern here:

    from this thread: /showthread.php?29624-tori-black-torrid-review-from-a-pro

    Wellllllll where to begin..I was a little skeptical about purchasing a fleshlight because I worried it be a waste of time..I am already having steady sex and last sometimes up to 6 hours with a woman..so stamina wasnt a reason for buyng..I simply wanted to be able to have sex with a vagina whenever I pleased (those hours my ladyfriends couldn't come thru)so I came across the flesh girls and instantly was hooked to the torrid pattern and I must say it lived up to the hype!there are actually moments that I forget I'm fuckin a fleshlight because of the superskin..it makes it unbelievably real..you just gotta know how to stroke the FL..the entrance of the torrid is amazing..I literally will spend a good 20 minutes just sliding my head in an out only about 2 inches in cause it feels so amazing..I'm a good 6 1/2 inches and the sleeve hugs me perfect.Ive yet to last as long with the torrid as I have a real woman!and I've been in some crazy tight/wet vagina in my day..some of the greatest..but this torrid really defies odds.

  3. #3
    FLight First Officer
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    589

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by raidzero View Post
    Hey guys,

    I'm not a FL owner (potentially am one), but I'm curious about two things.

    #1 how was your experience in suggesting the purchase of a flesh light to your girl? Hesitant, annoyed, threatened, etc? Or did you find the reverse is true? I'm married 7 years now and we have good sex, so I don't want her thinking I'm unhappy with her (she's quite hot- but I'm frequently more horny than she's in the mood for). Anyone feel the same, and / or how did you talk about it?

    #2 I'm worried that buying and using a flesh light will diminish real sex with my wife, in the sense that the flesh light will probably be tighter around my cock than my wifes pussy is. I love fucking her but I could see how the FL would potentially be tighter and therefore make the real thing somehow less grand. I'd be mortified if I got a flesh light and realized it makes my real experiences inferior, even if just subtly.

    #3 And for a more abstract question... Psychologically speaking, what effect does the purchase of a FL have on a marriage in the long run? Dynamics, etc? I don't want to look too hard for the faults in something like this because I can see the potential for lots of enjoyment on my part, but seeing as how sexual relationships are often fragile in the sense that small things make a big difference in female "mood"... I wonder how this would play a part for good or ill.

    I know this is a community of mostly FL owners, so I'm especially curious to hear your thoughts. Many thanks!


    #1 I can tell you some of your questions are interrelated, and it depends on you and your wife. If you marriage is an open marriage, no secrets, then you should have no problem talking to her about you purchasing a Fleshlight. Everyone is different and you should know your wife better than anyone so will she have an issue with it? I had no problem with my wife and we have been married a very long time. We also have purchased many toys for each of us over the years. The fact that you think she might say something negative about it says she could have hang ups about it.

    #2 I can tell you from my experience that using a Fleshlight does not diminish any feeling for the real thing. Tightness of the Fleshlight depends on the one you purchase and the texture and of course your size in relation.

    #3 I, like you enjoy getting off more than my wife does, and I have had my Fleshlights for several years. I find there is no difference in her mood or how she feels about me using them. Again, this is an individual thing.

    I can tell you to be open and talk about it with your wife to get a feeling for how she really feels about it. Most women have their own toys, vibrators, etc. and if your wife does, too she should be open to you having yours.

    Good luck with this.

  4. #4
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    I'm about too buy my first in about a week I'm moving away from my gf for a few months before she can Join me and I talkedsto her about getting one and she like the idea a lot. after showing her some videos she can't wait to use it on me in addition to our normal sex life.

  5. #5
    FLight Navigator
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Northwest USA
    Posts
    251

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    I'm not married, but my girlfriend and I do have sex on a regular basis and we're pretty serious. She knows I own not one, but multiple Fleshlights. Using the Fleshlight, no matter how many times, does NOTHING to decrease my desire for her pussy, ever.
    Not only does she know I have them, she encourages their use. She's always told me she has toys of her own, and their purpose is not as a replacement for me, by any means, why should I not be allowed to enjoy such things when she's not around?
    She also gets quite the kick out of using it on me, in addition to our normal sex life.

    I don't know how much my 2 cents helps, but I think you might be worrying just a tad too much.

  6. #6
    FLight Navigator
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    #1 Is your relationship healthy? Is your wife open about sex? Is she comfortable with you talking about masturbation? Does she have sex toys? If any of the answers are no then you potentially have a problem with getting a FL, that you should think about before bringing it up. Otherwise, ask her. You can present it as an alternative to masturbation, equivalent to her toys, not a replacement for sex but a physical outlet for physical needs when she's not in the mood. She can even use it on you.

    #2 It might make some of the physical sensations of sex seem inferior, but that shouldn't decrease your desire for sex. If you expect sex to feel physically miles better than anything else, then you aren't very creative when you masturbate, and you should not get a fleshlight because it will at the least narrow the gap between the physical sensations of self-pleasure and sex. Sex is supposed to be more than the physical sensations. As long as it's more than that, a FL cannot compete.

    #3 Several married flyers in your situation, wives with lower sex drives, have posted that it's great for both them and their spouse because it's better than manual masturbation and their wives feel less pressure or guilt about not being in the mood as much.

  7. #7
    FLight First Officer
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    794

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    I'm not married, but my girlfriend and I do have sex on a regular basis and we're pretty serious. She knows I own not one, but multiple Fleshlights. Using the Fleshlight, no matter how many times, does NOTHING to decrease my desire for her pussy, ever.
    Not only does she know I have them, she encourages their use. She's always told me she has toys of her own, and their purpose is not as a replacement for me, by any means, why should I not be allowed to enjoy such things when she's not around?
    She also gets quite the kick out of using it on me, in addition to our normal sex life.

    I don't know how much my 2 cents helps, but I think you might be worrying just a tad too much.
    Smart woman. I pity men that get involved with women that use sex (or potential lack thereof) to control them.

  8. #8
    FLight First Officer
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    794

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    I can't remember where I found this, but it's sort of related to the topic lol.


  9. #9
    FLight Navigator
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    227

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    I have been married over 20 years and we have a great sex life, but like most I have a higher sex drive than her. Of course while in Iraq I had no sex besides dirty chats and jerking off. We talked about. We toys and she found the Fleshlight site. We decided it would be fun and she had it shipped to me. It made our chats better when I could imagine it was her pussy. She liked the idea of using it on me while I ate her. We have done that since being home. Just have tO be open and talk. Of course we have other toys already we use alone and together as well.
    Good luck

  10. #10
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    88

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Regarding #1: Is she aware that you are frequently "in the mood" when she isn't, and is she aware of how you "handle" that? If she knows that you masturbate when she's not up for anything and is ok with that, adding a toy should make no difference.

    This is pasted from my reply to a thread called: "FLY Solo?" and describes my wife and I using a FL together (she has a toy too and we sometimes will play with either/both during/instead of intercourse).

    The one time (so far) I've used my FL with my partner she was on her period and didn't want to have intercourse, so we used the Fleshie instead. She held it between her thighs and I fucked her, just with my dick in the sleeve instead of her. I took my time, we changed positions, missionary, on her side, doggy, you name it, and it was one of the HOTTEST sessions ever! It was perfect, I got to see her, feel her, kiss her etc, and she never got sore or vag-irritated (ironically I usually want to go much longer than she does). When you land, you can decide if you want to control it by thrusting, or have her keep pumping (which many of us haven't the fortitude to do with FL's). Absolutely AMAZING orgasms, WAY better than sex with condoms, and no messy cleanup!
    In my mind it's the absolute best alternative when "feminine issues" prevent sex, assuming she's willing to indulge you.

  11. #11
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Hey everyone,

    Thanks for all your replies, and sorry for the delay of my own (pretty busy guy these days). Update: since my last post I *have* ordered my first fleshlight. Actually three with the buy-2-get-3 sleeve deal. My first experience far exceeded my expectations, specifically how soft and pliable the material is. It almost struck me as a liquid the way it moves around in your hand. And using it was probably the most pleasure I've *ever* given myself, or at least up in the top ten experiences since I discovered my penis at age 12. Letting it rest in warm water for a few minutes first was key, holy shit. That was with the Wonder Wave, I also have the Vortex and Super Ribber but have not yet had a chance to try those. Anyways...

    When I proposed the idea to my wife and she was initially somewhat offended and concerned that my intention was to replace her, and that I was one step away from a blow up doll. We discussed it for a while that night without much progress. The next day however she came around- the best thing I had said was that getting one is about the same as her having a vibrator (she has several), and that like the other toys we have (I have a few butt toys already) it's just an accessory for times when sex can't happen. (That's a good talking point I drew from this thread, thanks FL community! ) The only area where the analogy breaks down in my opinion is that the vibrators she has do not resemble male anatomy in any way (it's one of the small pocket-rocket clit vibes), whereas the fleshlight has very realistic "anatomy". I don't really see this as a game changer though because of the way males and females are wired. Males being more aroused by physical / visual, females being more aroused by mental / emotional.

    My hesitations around getting a fleshlight have mostly dissipated at this point. My original talking points responded to:

    #1 - Bringing up the subject of buying a FL
    Being direct and talking with the missus was the best route of course- I would never hide my toys from my significant other or lie about my desires because I sort of see that antithetical to being in an open caring, and functional relationship. I was hesitant to bring it up regardless, so I'd like to give ya'll credit for helping embolden me.

    #2 - Using a FL will diminish real sex
    This one is still unanswered for me at this point. I have a few thoughts though, and I'd like to hear your comments on them if possible. After my experience with the Wonder Wave, I can understand how, if comparing apples to apples, the flesh light could actually feel better than the real thing. Especially if the more customized sleeves such as the STU are looked at- there is just more junk in there to stimulate penile nerves than there is in a vagina. However- I'm becoming less and less concerned about this granted that using a FL entails sitting by myself moving a plastic canister up and down on my junk without actually interacting with anyone but myself. There isn't the other factors that actually make real sex super powerful. Of course there are the physical aspects such as actually making love to another human body which are missing- but sex in my most humble opinion is more than the sum of it's parts. There is the emotional connection which helps bonding and elevates everything. Also, I'm of the school of thought that there are spiritual components that come in to play- divine masculine and feminine energies which interweave and transfer from one person to another. Perhaps not all experiences fall in this category but there is always potential! Not so with a FL of course.

    So there will always be a draw to sex for me. However so, and maybe I'm stepping in to "too much info" land here, but I have a bias towards addictive or compulsive behaviors where sex is concerned. This has mostly revolved around pornography in the past. I had been a long time porn consumer for 15 year on and off. I wasn't until I decided to consciously take a break from porn for a while that I realized I craved it in a way not unlike people crave anything that they enjoy habitually. But so what? That's the same situation I have with coffee. But I've read a lot about porn's detriments (won't elaborate more here). I've been off porn since March this year with a few exceptions. This is a big topic and I won't say more on it here unless anyone is interested, but suffice to say when it comes to getting down with my bad self, it can go out of control in the sense that I'll jack off simply because it's been a few days- not because I actually feel like it. And sometimes I've noticed I actually hope that my wife is too tired just so I can either watch porn or use toys, or both. Since the FL feels so F*ing good, I see this as potentially the same. This may be alright for some (and I won't debate anyone on the topic) but I think that's at odds with a healthy sexual relationship, better practiced by single guys. Fortunately for me I'm gaining more will power as the days go on, and I'm commited to the idea that one can have it all, but if it's done in a smart and healthy way.

    #3 - What effect does the purchase of a FL have on a marriage in the long run?
    We'll see! I honestly have the best of expectations for a good long term outcome. I think the key element here is that of making my wife my number one sexual priority, and only using the FL when she is unavailable for whatever reason, AND I'm in need of real release. If either of those go awry I see potential harm- either my wife feeling jealousy over a synthetic vagina or worse, resentment of our relationship- OR my own issue of falling in to the trap of compulsive masturbation without maximal joy. I try to live by the motto 'Quality over quantity'. These are all subjective statements of course and I only write these as they apply to myself, I know many others have preferences for higher and lower volumes of masturbation / orgasms, have completely the opposite feelings about porn, etc. etc.

    THANKS for reading, I can get windbag like when typing this stuff out, but the simple truth is I don't have a plethora of like minded guy friends to talk this out with in my daily life, so in a way this is something of a release in itself. I'd be interested in reading whatever comments or thoughts you have about the topic, my thoughts or anything else related.
    Last edited by raidzero; 06-17-2012 at 04:39 PM. Reason: editing

  12. #12
    FLight Attendant
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    raidzero, it reads like you're a smart guy, so I'm sure you'll manage with your wife. Being open is key.

    I wanted to address what you said about porn consumption. I do think it acts like a drug in a way. Drugs work by over stimulating certain nerve routes. After a while (sometimes very quickly) you crave more, because the nerves are now out of their natural balance. With porn, it tends to go that one needs more and more, for the same reasons. For some more is not enough, it also has to be more extreme. Despite all this, I consider myself a lover of the naked form and I would never willingly stop what has been a life long and fairly innocent hobby thus far.

    I've found that porn does not diminish my sex drive at all. Rather, familiarity can decrease it. I've been with partners that look like models and after a while, if not worked at, it gets a bit stale. Too familiar. Enter another partner and it's instantly exciting again because it is new. Excitement brings stronger erections and more gland activity.

    So I hold porn blameless and rather blame lack of imagination and inventiveness on lessening sex desire for a partner. The good news is that one's sex life does not have to become stale or familiar. That's another topic though

    Personally, I've ordered a couple of fleshlights myself and I only see them adding to our sex life, rather than detracting from it.

    Edit: Now that I think about it, porn might detract from your personal experiences if your partner does not live up to your ideal. Especially if the porn consumed is full of ideal women. Best solution then would be ensure your partner lives up to your ideal Or avoid porn, but that's really the poor choice imho.
    Last edited by Succu; 06-18-2012 at 05:09 AM.

  13. #13
    nomWromiexeme
    Guest

    Default я Миронов Оле

    Чечня ... я есть Миронов Олег Михайлович (г.р.1959 г.Москва) конкретно чмошник, шизик и редкий мудак !!магазины "Океан" июль 2011 Самсон 2012 ЕРШОВ НИКОЛАЙ НИКОЛАЕВИЧ и КРЕТОВ ЕВГЕНИЙ ВЛАДИМИРОВИЧ" судебная практика" издательство бином. Дремлюга молодец, Миронов-хуйло! суд Марк;Бут директор школы Пенза самолеты Масленица Президент Латвии Банк Москвы фильмы Рождество Гордон наша жизнь предатели учителя , государство Единая Россия ВОВ здоровье лётчик Rambler :))) парковка образование с 15.07.2003г. – 04.06.2005г. – советник генерального директора ООО «ЖАСО-Полис». прогресс плюс к этому я Олег Михайлович Миронов 21.08.1959 пиздобол и болобол !

  14. #14
    FLight Navigator
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    What Succu said. I don't think any normal person would prefer a fleshlight over sex with a willing partner, no matter how good the fleshlight feels, unless there's already some problem with the sex or with the relationship.

    Those are great textures. If the SR is overstimulating to the point of numbness, changing the type or amount of lube can make a big difference.

    You make it sound like sex toys and sex are either/or. Has your wife ever had toys other than bullet vibrators? Tantus silicone dildos get good reviews and are inexpensive and ILF carries a few of them.

    The STU is different and tighter than the WW, but I wouldn't call it more textured. Some flyers especially when they have DGS need the extra tightness to get off easily. You like the WW a lot already so I don't think that's an issue (and just wait until you try the vortex and sr, better yet see if your wife wants to use one of them on you... everything is better with a partner).

  15. #15
    FLight Navigator
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    261

    Default Re: Fleshlight and your wife / girlfriend?

    Well, my wife isn't overly sexual at all so I got FL's to keep myself pleased when she's not feeling it, she's okay with it, other than the $ I've spent (I have 9, going on 10)

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Back to top