Sometimes these days I find myself wondering what exactly is gay and what is not? First off I want to say that other than some playing around with a friend when I was about 11 years old, I've never had sex with a man. I've watched tons of porn in my life, but up until about a year ago I had never even really viewed any gay porn. I have had several girlfriends in my life and was even married at one point. During all these relationships I have never even thought about being with a man. But during times when I am single I do have some gay and bisexual fantasies, especially if I am in a really kinky mood. When I am in these kinky moods I often fantasize about sucking a nice big dick and even being fucked in the ass by a nice hard dick. I also enjoy watching cumshots. Seeing a big hard cock shoot hot ribbons of silky cum really turns me on.
But here is the thing--I never actually fantasize or crave the men these cocks are actually attached to. I just like dicks. These days I will admit I surf gay porn some, but I am very picky about my gay porn. I don't care to see guys kissing or even talking, for that matter. I do not like watching guys suck cock or get facials (for that I would rather it be a hot young chick). I am by no means putting down being gay, I have no problem with it, I am just describing my particular situation. I have never actually looked at a guy and thought "Wow, that guy is hot, I would like to have sex with him."
I like watching two cocks frotting and cumming on each other and I like watching gay buttfucking, again, if it is just the dicks, balls and asses, no faces. I love watching a big dick going back and forth into an asshole while the bottom dick is flopping around--yes that turns me on sometimes. As I said before, I really like watching dicks squirt and even gay creampies, but I have no desire to watch gay facials or blowjobs...and guys kissing is a total turn off for me....When I do fantasize about being fucked in the ass I usually think of the guy in a mask or something, his identity totally hidden from me. Same with sucking a dick, I often think about gloryholes where I would not know who the guy is. The thought of me buttfucking another guy is not something I have ever even fantasized about. To me, girls' assholes are just the bee's knees!
I often watch shemale porn, but the shemale has to look like a hot chick and have a nice big dick. I have used dildos since I was a kid but only when I am alone. I have never let a girl stick something inside me. I do not know why I have a problem with that, I just do, I can't help it. But when I am alone and jacking off, I will fuck myself ragged with my dildos.
I like to think of myself as a pretty open person sexually but obviously I do have some hang ups. I actually consider myself a fully heterosexual man (I absolutely LOVE women!!) but I know that inside I am very bi-curious. However I really doubt I would ever act out on these fantasies even if the chance ever arose. At one point in my life I had the opportunity to have a MMF threeway (me and another dude double teaming a girl) but I could not go through with it.
I really don't know why I am saying all this, it has just been on my mind lately. I have been single for a couple of years now, no action at all, and I find my porn tastes moving into these areas, whereas a few years ago I would have NEVER watched a gay flick, not in a million years.. I think I just need to get laid!! LOL! As I stated, when I am with a girl these thoughts do not arise, but when I am alone I find myself getting kinkier and kinkier. I now have online chats with guys sometimes now, but I have no desire to get a webcam or even hear their voices. I like my gay or bi fantasies to be totally anonymous, and mostly we just wank together talking about anal sex with women.
Anyway, that's enough psychoanalysis for me right now---bring on the porn and jacking!!
So what do you guys think? Am I just crazy or what?